Thoughts. Ramblings. Heavy-hipped. Mango-obsessed.


I got woken up unceremoniously around 4.15am by a woman screaming in the car park, so I'm up. Her defiance was in complete contrast to the couple I wrote about previously where the man was effing and swearing at her and she said nothing, did nothing, except smile.

This woman – now this woman made sure she woke up the whole neighbourhood. The police arrived 5 minutes later and she kept on saying to them, 'keep him the fuck away from me'. The guy got arrested and was put in a van. She must have been hurt 'cos the ambulance soon arrived.

The block of flats where I live seems to be the epicentre of things that happen in and around the locality. The building itself becomes an observer but remains unharmed, almost invisible. We often have prostitutes and their pimps calling out to each other on the street at 2 in the morning like it's high noon. Once, a woman pulled her pants down in front of the block and was acting all weird, crouched to the ground like her p*ssy was burning up. I had to call the police.

So, I'm up – can't sleep - pigeons cooing occasionally in my balcony. It's quiet now, as if none of the drama happened less than an hour ago.

I made myself a mint tea – two bags – the strength of it is waking up my chest – thinking of what the rest of the day will bring and what part I plan to play in it to make it a fruitful one.


Which Came First?: the McChicken or Egg McMuffin?

Please send your answers in
to the white-faced wollygog
with the Revlon-red lipstick
and manic-depressive smile

who's probably a closet vegan

and a loving father
of two beautiful

pet poodles.

So, if ya think you know the answer

'cos you've got a 2:1 degree,

or you can spell 'brie',

or you've been playing the piano
since you were 3 months,

please send a postcard to:

Old McDonald Didn't Have A Farm
P.O. Box 666
E492 99p

(p.s. I've come to the conclusion that James Blunt sounds like he's being asphyxiated more times than I can bear. From now on, I think I'll just stick to reading his lyrics. Sorry, James - you seem nice & all but...)