Thoughts. Ramblings. Heavy-hipped. Mango-obsessed.

Come. Come see.

I watched a film documentary on Channel 4 a few weeks ago: about people who chose to end their lives by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco. Unfortunately, it's apparently a frequent occurrence. In 2004, 24 people fell to their deaths. As I read through the names of the 24 in the end credits, I noticed that most were men.

Of the film, one person sticks in my mind: a man in a leather jacket, his long dark hair blowing in the wind, smoking a cigarette, walking up and down the bridge. If I'd been on that bridge same time as him, what would I have said to him? How would I have sold life to him?

I was at the Royal London hospital a short while back and there was this man who started talking to me. He was drunk. Within 5 minutes, he'd told me his life story: his ex wife, where they got married, his 2 beautiful daughters whom he hadn't seen in years, their names, their ages, his sexuality, his boyfriend. He'd even been a martial arts practitioner for 20 years. His eyes were so sad. Deeply. He'd tried committing suicide before by jumping off a bridge. He said he needed help which was why he’d come to the hospital.

I can't remember what I said to him. I didn't say much. I listened.

Who knows if he was telling the truth; he could have been a pathological liar or schizophrenic. But what I saw in his eyes was no lie.

The doctor called out his name.

I happened to be in the cubicle next to him. The doctor asked him how he was: his reply was he planned on committing suicide by Xmas and that he felt like killing himself and everyone around him.

I hope the doctor listened. Really listened.

On the Channel 4 docufilm, a shot of the Golden Gate Bridge was shown from afar and it looked really beautiful. It must be quite high 'cos I could see a rainbow beneath it. I also saw the glow of the sunlight and greenery on the landscape. I remember seeing the bridge from that angle and wishing I could tell the guy with the long dark hair: come, come see.


Anonymous said...

Good to see you back on your blog... And what a lovely post. Sometimes all that needs to happen is that someone listens, we don't actually have to DO anything. I bet that guy still remembers you, too.

ebele said...

Hi Honest :-)

I hope he's alive. I hope he changed his mind about life. I hope he decided it was worth living. It's a hard decision to make when you feel there isn't much to live for.

Thanks for passing by and leaving a comment. Have a rich 2010.

Take care...

Anonymous said...

That was awesome, seriously.

ebele said...

thanks, Steven.

take care...

Pokagon Member said...

bohzo (hello)

It is so sad when someone is so lost that death is better than living, I wish that I could have met such people before they got to that point.

Some I have met have something terribly wrong with them and NOTHING can deliver them out of such darkness because of what I would call a defective broken mind, and many times it is impossible to reach that person.

I enjoyed reading your blog!
Megwitch (Thank You)
Have a great day!

ebele said...

bohzo to you too...

Yes, it is a very sad place to be indeed. It's not something I wish upon my worst enemy.

Thanks for passing by and leaving a comment. Hope you have a great weekend.

Take care...