Spare a Nostril for Xmas...

I have a blocked nose. (everyone say a sympathetic aaaaaaah).

Yep. One of my nostrils has up and baled on me. I thought it loved me. But obviously not.

Anyone got a nostril to spare? White people needn't apply (obviously. Black body, white nostril. Erm, no.)

It ain't fun breathing outta one nostril, I can tell you - it's as much fun as watching Gordon Brown do... actually, it's as much fun as watching Gordon Brown. Period.

So, this Christmas, while you're breathing in car exhaust fumes, b.o on trains, and everything in-between, please spare a thought for the woman with just one hairy nostril to keep her warm at night.

Breathe for me, people.

Breathe.