Happy birthday to me...

It's my birthday tomorrow...and I'm in a very reflective mood - a bit melancholy too - and a deep lull - that lull is telling me that I'm not satisfied. What with? - oh, a number of things - it's just that birthdays tend to bring it to the fore for me (thank you, birthday).

I don't feel like celebrating - I'm not gonna pretend I do (it doesn't help that my period started today too - I don't get painful ones, but I do tend to feel everything a whole lot more when I'm on - if I'm happy, I'm extra happy, if I'm sad, I'm the epitome of it - if I feel like giving you a hug, I'll give you two - you get the gist.)

I don't feel like being around people for my birthday, neither do I wanna be on my own (go figure, it's the Gemini in me).

If you can imagine, I have a collage of pictures, cards and inspiring emails stuck on the wall behind my computer. I look up at them now & again. And as I'm typing this, about how I'm feeling, one of the sheets have come unstuck. It's a poem a woman wrote for me in one of the workshops I ran:

Enigmatic, is the knowing smile & charming look she gives
beauty personified, the perfect example of womanhood
embodiment of love, care & joy
love embracing in her words, gestures & reassurance
exciting to be around



Coincidence? Or divine intervention?

All of a sudden, I don't feel quite as bad. I still feel reflective (and I think this is good), but I don't feel quite so boo-hoo'ish.

You know what? - I was given a big dirty chocolate & cognac cake yesterday for my birthday - I was saving it for tomorrow - but you know what? - I'm opening it now!

Hold on...while I go get it.

LAWD JESUS!

IT.IS.GOOD. I know it ain't particularly good for me, but today, I AM GOOD FOR IT!!!

Anyone want a piece?

Actually, no, pretend I didn't just say that. THIS IS ALL MINE. MINE. MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE.


I was Born.to.Be:

Beautyfull, Brilliant, Bold, Bodacious, Bedazzlingly Brown, Billowing Brightness, Brimming with Bucket-loads.of.Phunk