Thoughts. Ramblings. Heavy-hipped. Mango-obsessed.

If someone tells u you've put on weight...

my response
I drew this after growing tired of (certain) people telling me I've put on weight. For example, my cousin told me I'd put on weight.

He's bigger than me.

My reply to him was that he'd put on weight too.

And his reply was and I quote: "it's ok for men".

A friend of my mum's who hadn't seen me for a while got VERY vocal and dramatic about my weight. I was feeling particularly vunerable on that day so it was the last thing I wanted to hear from another woman.

I believe there's a way to say it, but definitely not as an Oscar-winning performance.

If I've put on weight, don't you think I know?

If I've put on weight, did it ever occur to you that I might just be ok with it?, that I don't think it's the end of the world?, that you seem to be more upset about it than I am?, that it might just say more about you than it says about me?

So...  where do I stand on my weight???

I am beautyFULL regardless of whether I put on, lose some or stay at the weight that I am now. Regardless of how I feel or how you feel about it.

I am beautyFULL by default.

And that's what I choose to focus on.


KWiz said...

Hi Ebele,
This was a fantastic post! I've experienced much of this type of language, mostly from family, so the response in the cartoon really wouldn't fly (though I'd like to say it!). Thank you for sharing; I think many of us needed to hear this.

Ebele said...

You're welcome, kwiz. It is a sour point, and I think it hurts more when it's family or a family friend. I tell ya, when my mum's friend said what she said, I went into my mum's room and cried my eyes out - it was just one of those days.

Even though I allowed her to make me feel like shit, I now know that what she said & the passion she put behind it was really about her & how self-conscious she'd feel if she was as plump as me.

Thanks for passing by. Appreciate it.

Vanessa said...


That was such a wonderful post. The cartoon is fabulous! I'd like your permission to use it on my blog, with full credit to you, of course.

I really appreciate your comments on my blog.



Ebele said...

You're more than welcome to use it, Vanessa - I'm sure quite a few people will be able to relate to it.

I have dial-up so it takes me a while for your page to load on my computer, but I felt strongly about what some of your entries prompted me to express, so thank you.

You take care...

a mango in your palm...


Vanessa said...

Thank you! You are very talented, intelligent, brave, passionate and compassionate. I am blessed to have connected with you.


Ebele said...

Why, thank you, sis! – I needed to hear that.

I'm glad I've started blogging – I'd actually forgotten that I enjoy writing!. And the world it's opened me up to – the people I've met so far (including you, sis!).

Once I can persuade the mice in my computer to run the wheel a bit faster, I'll be sure to check out your blog a lot more often.

You take care, have a blessed week…

a mango in your palm...