Thoughts. Ramblings. Heavy-hipped. Mango-obsessed.

Dear Reader...I have nipple hair...

Two to be precise - just above my right nipple.

Potential health hazard if you ask me - imagine if you will:

Scenario 1: I have a baby. My baby chokes on my nipple hair while I'm breastfeeding him/her. I'll never be able to forgive myself (neither would my baby - poor kid could be traumatised for life).

Scenario 2: I shave my nipple hair - baby's lips get seriously bruised by the stubble.


WHY ME? WHY ME? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY......


ON THE BRIGHT SIDE:
Maybe I'm special.

ON THE NOT-SO-BRIGHT SIDE:
Is it a bird?, is it a plane? - no, it's The Woman with the Bearded Nipple.


Great.


(Isn't it bad enough that I'm so beautiful? Why God, Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.)

------------

On a serious note, I'm ok with it. I've had it for so long that I am now at one with it. Sometimes I shave it off. Sometimes I don't. Sometimes I bunch it up in a ponytail. Or a side parting.

I find it all freakingly interesting though - my nipple hair - same way I was amazed at the intricate way my stretchmarks grew on my body - like creeping plants.


My book 'How to Love Your Titty Hair' is available on Amazon and all good bookstores, including barber shops... except my local barber's - he's a perv.



4 comments:

Anonymous said...

LOL hehehe The stage of satire awaits you :-)

Ebele said...

Satire? Satire? Why is no-one taking me seriously? I was actually telling the truth. Sniffle, sniffle. :-(


Thanks for passing thru ;-)

Bloggrrl said...

Only two hairs!?! Two words. Tweezer. Pain.

Ebele said...

Did someone say Pain?

Noooooooooo.