Thoughts. Ramblings. Heavy-hipped. Mango-obsessed.


img by: Hamed Saber

I saw a young girl y'day - white - pretty - big butt - pushing a pram. And it really saddened me. She looked SO young. Her face hadn't completely matured yet (her body obviously had). She still looked cute like you could just squeeze her cheeks, like you just wanted to wrap her up in a protective hug. She had that kind of face.

I mention her butt 'cos, yes, I noticed it...

...and it made me wonder if things would have been different:

- if she knew how to handle (the changes in) her body
- if she knew how to handle the attention she got
- if her self-esteem was up to scratch

It might not be true for her, but all I could see was a girl - a very young girl - who responded to a guy because he was paying her attention.

For all I know, she could be in a steady & loving relationship, and the baby could be born from that union, and if that's the case, I'm happy for her ...but what are the chances? The UK has the highest teen pregnancy rate and I think Newham (where I live) is somewhere towards the top (must check).

If we (women) tell young girls how beautiful their bodies are, then maybe they won't seek approval elsewhere (often with life-changing consequences). If we teach them how powerful their bodies actually are, then maybe they won't give that power so readily to others. But the thing is, if you don't know the coin in your pocket is worth a million bucks, you'll treat it like the penny you think it is.

I wish I had a magic wand. I wish I had a bigger hug to give. I wish I was balanced enough emotionally and spiritually with less drama in my life, less work to do on myself, so that I had more of myself to give.


nneoma said...

well put. i think this is a challenge that all women must embrace in order to rescue the younger ones. i wish more women (including myself here) would compliment each other's beauty more often. i would relish that.

ebele said...



I do compliment other women often - their eyes tend to light up when I do. They also seem surprised too.

I need to do more though, but recognise my limitations (i.e., self-work).



Anonymous said...

its sad that uk girls are in such a was an eye opening article for me.

ebele said...

...some, not all. For every beautyfull very young mother I see, I meet 7 beautyfull girls who are not (mothers).

However, it does hurt when I see some young girls pushing prams - I often hope the baby they're pushing is their baby brother or sister.

When I went to a shopping mall in New Jersey in 2006, I was struck by how many pregnant girls I noticed - some of them holding their mother's hands. Maybe it was just the day that I went and it was not indicative of anything.

But since they are mothers, they, like all mothers, need to be empowered to be the best parents they can be and to be the best lovers of themselves. Young fathers need the same too.

I feel empowerment/self-confidence (or lack of it) is the key to a lot of things where the human condition is concerned. I'm not saying this from the point-of-view of someone who's been there and is now super confident, but as someone who is still there and has been for a long time - I struggle with my self-esteem constantly. My way of dealing with it is through creative expression and I try to encourage the same in others.

Thanks for passing by, Anon. I appreciate it.

take care...

sue said...

I really like what you have written here Ebele and agree with your sentiments as the mother of three daughters - I know the picture you paint because I know Newham well as my son lives there.

ebele said...

Hi there, Sue :-)

I wouldn't want to live anywhere else in London apart from Newham. But like a lot of boroughs, it has its challenges. There are a lot of things I see that really make me smile and feel proud to be a part of Newham; but there are other things I see that do concern me.

Take care, Sue. Thanks for passing by.